Are childless and/or non breastfeeding woman with children selfish for their choice?

The choice to be a career woman instead of having kids, (even when you are happily in a relationship) or to bottle feed kids if you do have them are a lot of things, but I would not say "selfish"! That word would imply a gain or benefit to the woman who makes such choices. So lest you don't know, let's go over some of the reasons why it's actually far more self-serving to have kids and then breastfeed them.

First, did you know that amid the troubles of pregnancy and birth, (of which I have my share believe me!) there are actually health benefits to having children:

Every pregnancy:

•  stops cystic fybroids from growing.
• regulates your progesterone levels with the estrogen dominance that is frequently caused by stress, bad diet, and birth control pills.
•  detoxes you, as evidenced by the fatigue of every woman, and the nausea and throwing up of those who need the most detoxing. Also the bright smelly pee is not just the supplements, it's the junk coming out thanks in part to some of them though maybe. (The body protects the baby as much as it can by detoxing throughout pregnancy.)
• lowers your chances of uterine cancer.

The mental benefits of pregnancy and children:

• gives you purpose/you have someone who can carry on after you/ one to protect
• gives self esteem/makes you feel needed
• humbles you
• teaches you patience
• helps you grow up and be responsible as you care for them by caring for yourself at times
• helps you prioritize your time properly for what matters in life: people
• changes your circle of friends to a more responsible and mature crowd
• bonds you with your mother, and other mothers
• shows you what love and trust looks like in a human
• you feel so womanly and often beautiful
• as you get much more attention and politeness
• sometimes you get special deals, parking spots, tax incentives and help with healthcare, carseats or food from the government. . .adding up to less stress financially and physically.
• and much more. . .

As for breastfeeding, it helps mom in many ways both
Physically:

• Immediately following birth, a mother who breastfeeds will have less bloodloss, (and chance of hemorrhage)  because the sucking stimulates a clamping down of the uterus, shutting off the blood from the placenta site.
• helps mom recover from the bloodloss of birth before the return of a period, (which can cause anemia if started too soon) Menstrual bleeding drains her of a lot more iron then breastfeeding does. (Especially beneficial is doing biological breastfeeding, which practically guarantees a 6 month pregnancy/menstruation free period. . .more typical is a year or so, but closer to two for me!)
• This guaranteed (98-99% according to La Leche League stats) spacing of children ensures a healthier next child with recovery of mom's stores. (Although 2 years in between a birth and the start of the next  pregnancy is more traditionally accepted as healthy, and best for the children's development and mom's mental health.)
• Weightloss, as it speeds up metabolism equal to burning 200-500 calories a day. . .the equivalent of biking uphill for an hour EVERY DAY!
• mothers with gestational diabetes had lower bloodsugar (more regulated) then non breastfeeding ones in studies. . .between the lessened weight and the better bloodsugar, this translates to a long term lessoned risk of type 2 diabetes later in life.
• breastfeeding mothers have good levels of good cholesterol, and lower blood pressure when compared to non breastfeeding mothers. Taking the rest into consideration, this means a lesser risk of heart disease in later life.
• a lessened risk of imbalance of calcium/magnesium, because of the way breastfeeding depletes calcium, which is abundant in the soil and diet. (Whereas magnesium is not abundant naturally, and is cooked out of food, and lost with stress. We need a 1/1 ratio) Excess calcium (especially in indigestible forms) and not equal magnesium amounts is connected to osteoporosis and bone spurs because of calcium deposits.
• a lessened risk of uterine, ovarian and breast cancer, that lessens with each year of breastfeeding.
• regular and on demand feedings from the start will ensure that there is no painful engorgement when the milk comes in. . .a lousy process if you choose to let yourself dry up "right off the bat".

Also mentally and practically:

• breastfeeding produces oxytocin, the "love" or "bonding" hormone that heightens the mother/ baby bond.
• breastfeeding provides skin to skin "kangaroo care".  . .proven to be very beneficial to all ages of babies.
• Breastfeeding also produces a hormone called prolactin, which is known to calm the nerves, an asset in child raising!
• there is a lessened risk of post partum depression, because of more progesterone in the body with breastfeeding. (Sometimes there is still a deficiency though with a bad diet or stress, and a natural supplemental cream is then a benefit to many moms.)

• it creates a stronger brain response to baby's cry, creating more empathy and likelihood of a maternal reaction. (Further helping your bond, and creating trust with baby.)
• With support and knowledge if needed, breastfeeding creates confidence in your body, and it's natural workings.
• you can be confident that you are busty without silicone implants.
• you can be confident and proud that you are doing what's good for the environment.
• Breastfeeding is much more convenient for night feedings, so you get more sleep, especially if you practice co-sleeping!
• Much more convenient for outings too.
• Also much easier for moms nursing a toddler; not stressing about the child eating enough nutritious solid food every day, as many kids are sporadic or picky eaters.
• No worry over formula recalls.
• Much cheaper to breastfeed! 
• No bottles, nipples and pumps to clutter up your house and clean constantly.
• No worry over toxins in the BPAs and formula.
• No issues with constipation or rejection of formula.
• With comfort nursing there is no stress over weaning from pacifiers/soothers or thumb sucking, (or even special blankets or dolls) as those are simply a replacement for the comfort a mom should give with her breasts until naturally outgrown/weaned. . . or the child may revert in desperation to one of those mock mothers for comfort. Studies seem to indicate that comfort nursing decreases a baby’s heart rate and lets him relax. It seems to have a very positive effect on his whole physical and emotional well-being. Don’t be afraid to allow this type of nursing. Breastfeeding is more than just imparting fluids and nourishment. It’s a way to nurture your child as well.
• You'll have a natural all-purpose, incredibly useful liquid at your disposal (Breastmilk has over 58 uses!)
• You can be lazy and lie in bed all day, (at least at first) and be a great mom!
• babies diapers (cloth) and clothes clean up easier if the baby is drinking breastmilk, then if drinking formula.
• you will save money on menstrual pads.

Source source Source Source Source

All these reasons, while good, are simply for the benefit of the mom, but there are a ton of reasons why you should nurse your baby besides these! Check out this resource for

101 Reasons Why You Should Breastfeed Your Baby!

As you can see, even though many would believe that the decision to first not have kids, and then to not breastfeed them if you do have them are usually based on "convenience" or "selfishness", I believe that in most cases of both, it is instead sheer ignorance.

If this article was convincing enough to make you rethink your decision to not have kids, you will not be sorry. I have met plenty of old people who were sorry that they didn't have any, or stopped having kids for numerous shallow reasons, but I have never met one yet who regrets having a single child they did have. If your troubles are not that you don't want them, but that you can't, there are two simple strategies I would suggest: Progesterone cream, and buying a book called "Taking charge of your fertility".

If this article has helped sway you away from not breastfeeding your baby, then let me share with you some great resources for breastfeeding.

One thing that is nice first off is an article of what to expect at different stages of breastfeeding, I stumbled upon a really good article here.

The top breastfeeding websites I have heard of are:


Kelly Mom - evidence-based answers about all things breastfeeding!

La Leche League- World renown resource for all things breastfeeding and child. A little too big of an organization to be as up to date (especially in their old books) as some of the other websites, but over all good info.

Breastfeeding USA, very up to date info on lots of subjects about breastfeeding.

Laid Back Breastfeeding- the only position you need to know about, besides side laying. . .all the rest are just plain not comfortable, and hurt your back. (Unless you are standing and baby is in a sling. . .) Also here.

Human Milk for Human Babies – milk sharing through Facebook, for when there is a rare physical problem with baby or mom.