50 of my favorite tips for life.

1. Constantly try to reduce your attachment to possessions.

Those who are heavy-set with material desires will have a lot of trouble when their things are taken away from them or lost. Possessions do end up owning you, not the other way around. Become a person of minimal needs and you will be much more content.2. To go with that, Simplify and declutter your house and life as much as possible.Everytime I move I get the opportunity to have a garage sale, organize, throw out broken junk, and clean, and I am amazed by how much simpler things feel. . .but you don't HAVE to wait until you move to do this, as the old Nike ad says, "just do it".3. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone. Experiment with new foods, talk to people you might normally avoid, try a new sport, or group activity. Participate in a march or stand for something you believe in.4. Buy a membership for braintraining with Lumosity. This is a tested and proven- as well as fun- way to build your brain in numerous capacities. For a reasonable price you can buy a lifetime subscription to keep your mind sharp, and there is no pricetag on that.5. Get and stay fit and healthy. Fit bodies lead to better all around health, confidence and more success in both social and romantic endeavors.6. Get enough sleep, in the right hours of the day for it. (And take regular short naps as well.)Your health, happiness, and even spirituality is surprisingly connected to melatonin production at night. If you are snoring, not in a regular routine, sleeping in the dark, and using a lot of artificial light in the wee hours of the morning, you should study up on good sleep habits.7. Learn to focus only on the present.The past is unchangeable so it is futile to reflect on it unless you are making sure you do not repeat past mistakes. The future is but a result of your actions today. So learn from the past to do better in the present so that you can succeed in the future. 8. Smile more often.Whenever you get a grin on your face, your brain is releasing serotonin, the happy hormone. Smiling is the natural way to force yourself to be happy. Many people even smile for five minutes straight in the morning to get themselves in a great mood for the day. Just remember that while happiness leads to smiles, smiles also lead to happiness.9. Don’t take life so seriously!Learn to laugh at the little things and this whole “existence” thing will be a whole lot easier. Be amused by your mistakes and failures and be thankful that you learned your lesson and won’t mess up like that again. And most importantly do things that you enjoy! Life is not strictly business, it can be mixed with pleasure. 10. Think positive thoughts.When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, stop it immediately by any means necessary. Slap yourself in the face, yell something positive at the top of your lungs or jump up and down. Do whatever it takes to get back to a positive mindset which is essential for continual happiness and success.11. Eat quality food, and drink mostly water.You literally are what you eat, and will act and feel as good/quality as the stuff you put in your tank. Some people point to only the rich yuppies eating organic and healthy, but the truth is, the better you eat, the more likely your health, social life, intelligence and finances will show it.12. Get out in the fresh air and sunshine.While diet does a lot for the body, it is not the whole picture. Depending on where you live the air may not be clean, and you may be better off getting a good air purifier in your house then going outside. If you are around trees at all though, chances are that the air outside is better then the toxic stuff in most houses. Considering typical construction methods of houses, the toxins in our furniture, carpets, and walls, as well as cleaners, the average house air is a potent cocktail making us sick. So not only do we get pure air when we get out in nature, we get oxygen! Add to that the health giving properties in Sunlight with it's vitamin D, and being outside makes the perfect recipe for good health.13. Go for walksWhenever you are feeling unmotivated, depressed or angry, take a walk.There’s something about being in nature, getting some exercise and (most importantly) getting out in the sun that can get you over any emotional hump. It is one of the best ways to fight depression, ,meditate/ spend quality time with loved ones and get in shape at the same time. It is also the safest form of exercise.14. Learn to do things for yourself to save money.(I.E. cooking, cut hair, first aid, handiman stuff.) 14. Build a helping community of friends.People stay in cults and intentional communities not simply because of shared beliefs, but because of the community feel. People need the help of a village setting more then they realize. When you foster this mentality toward others, it will likely be returned to you too.15. Set aside a specific time to worry each day.Ponder all of your problems and anxieties during that time so that they will not distract you during work or moments of pleasure. This way you can be extremely efficient with your time and avoid focusing on negative things as much as possible. If you get all of your worry out of the way and have the mental fortitude to keep from reverting back to them, you will be much happier.16. Be honest at all times. Lies lead to nothing but trouble. Being known as trustworthy is an excellent trait to maintain and essential to having integrity.17. Have dreams and goalsWe are the happiest when we are growing and working towards something better. Even if your practical side tells you it is unlikely to ever come to fruition, you will be happier to shoot for something then nothing.18. Start your day off right.Wake up and set aside some time for personal development activities (meditation, yoga, inspirational readings, observing nature, a walk, etc.) Do the things that make you feel blissful, optimistic and empowered so that you can set a positive tone for your day.19. Travel. Anyone who has ever gone anywhere will tell you that traveling is one of the most exciting and life-changing activities that you can do. Observing a different culture will expand your mind while often making you appreciate the life you already live.20. Practice StoicismStoicism is centered around being unaffected by misfortune. A good stoic will recognize that mishaps will inevitable occur so he/she is constantly ready and open to experiencing them. Unlike pessimists, Stoics expect bad things to happen only because they recognize this is the nature of reality, and so strive to become immune to being demoralized by said misfortunes.21. Learn to be unaffected by the words of others.Most people get very upset when they are called negative names by others, but there is a simple trick to overcoming this: when someone calls you something that you know you are not, you can be confident that it is likely just a reflection of them and their day.. The only exception is when someone calls you something that you suspect is true! In this case, you should probably get a second opinion from an honest and trusted friend, and if it is true, thank them for alerting you to a weakness you may have been blind to.22. Develop the ability to forgive.Forgiveness is something that most people fail miserably at even thought it’s so simple. Grudges only bring more misery to those who hold them and prevent good relations. YOU surly makes mistakes all of the time so why not have mercy when other do? (Whether or not they know they have made one.)23. Meditate/have a quiet time everyday.
In this modern world where everyone is so connected to everything else via cell phones, TV and internet, most people rarely enjoy the beauty of silence. The ability to quiet your mind and relax your body is an art and skill that everyone should develop. Simply sit/lie somewhere, preferably around nature, focus on your breathing, and listen to your inner voice.24. Learn to control your emotions.The only person that can make you unhappy is you! You are the one that decides to be affected by the words and actions of others. If you realize this, the next time you experience a negative emotion, you can find the strength within yourself to overcome it.25. Work on making good first impressions.Practice a strong, firm handshake, good eye contact and the small talk that generally goes along with meeting someone for the first time. People won’t know what to think of you if you have nothing more to say beyond “My name is _______, nice to meet you.” Also make sure you remember names. (Lumosity brain games will help with this.)26. Read inspirational, educational and self help books.Life is short, if the stuff we read isn't of some practical benefit, you are simply wasting precious time that could be better spent in most any other way.27. Do what you love for work.There is a huge difference between making a life and making a living.28. Choose your friends wisely.You are affected far more than you think by the people you spend your time with. Do your friends share your values? Do they challenge you to be all you can, and grow in your thought? Do they encourage you when you speak of your goals and dreams or do they scoff? Make sure the people around you are conducive to the lifestyle you want to lead. . . or they may drag you down a path you don't want to go.29. Keep a journal/diary/blog.It sounds like a very monotonous habit at first, but when you get into it, it will become a great way to organize your thoughts, track your growth over the years, sometimes bounce things off of others and even be accountable for what you have done or thoughts you have. (Your children with thank you later.)30. Learn to use and trust your subconscious/intuition.When you spend time in silence/meditation/nature everyday, listen not for words but for a feeling that tells you to do something. Do not mistake your own reasoning and thoughts for those of your subconscious. (Some call this "God") If you can track where the thought came from, (this thought led to that thought which led to this thought, etc.) then it was not from your subconscious. Learning to accurately discern between the two will allow you to tap into knowledge that you don’t consciously have.31. Try to develop a charismatic personality.You know, the kind of personality that is surrounded by people constantly and is the life of the party. Start visualizing yourself as THAT person. Maybe take a short course on dynamic speaking and learn some jokes. Tell yourself constantly that you are popular and charismatic.  Belief is the first step! Reality will come soon after.32. Speaking of jokes though, forget about insults, entirely! Nothing good comes of insults. If they are serious, then someone comes out of the exchange feeling cut down. Even if you insult someone jokingly though, (and they understand it as such) their subconscious mind still takes your words in as a serious statement and imprints the insult on the person, sometimes permanently.33. Investigate what is known about deathWhat do you know about death? You certainly have beliefs around it, but what do you know about the science of death, or of those who have died and been brought back to life? Death is not as big of a mystery as it is made out to be. Do your research before you fear or misconstrue this most universal human experience. 34. Plan romantic getaways for you and your significant other at least bi-yearly, even if they are only for a day or two.The getaways may not be all be fancy, or expensive, but if it's just away from it all, you will feel refreshed in your relationship. This has been a marriage saver on many occasions for me and my hubby. I like to make the excuse of either a birthday or mothers day or something, to make sure we fit it in.35. Pamper yourself in small ways regularly, no matter your budget.Take a nice long bath with candles and music, buy your favorite quality chocolate stash just for you, go to your favorite play/concert with friends, buy yourself some flowers, etc.36. Practice being open-minded rather than doubtful, especially about things foreign to you.Read all about things you disagree with, in order to know the other side of the argument; you may just find yourself switching sides of an issue.The best things that have ever came to me in life were because I considered things, (or people) that I had previously been closed to. Those who come to preconceived ideas before seeing, getting educated on, trying something or getting to know someone are usually only hurting themselves.37. Limit your time-wasting online activities The internet is an awesome tool but some sites can suck you in and waste tons of time that could be spent doing something productive. For those who can’t help themselves, there are extensions for Chrome and FireFox that allow you to specify a certain amount of time to allow to spend on time-waster websites per day. Every minute you spend on the sites you specify is tracked, and when you reach the limit those sites are no longer able to be accessed.38. That said, use StumbleUponStumbleUpon (SU) is an internet tool that brings you to random sites based upon your interests. You can also specify a particular interest category while also limiting the results to videos, photos, news, blogs, etc. SU is the best way to discover awesome content around the web, much of which you didn’t even know you were looking for! As you go through and ‘Thumbs up’ or ‘thumbs down’ different web content, SU learns more about your interests and returns more accurate results. 39. Watch documentaries and get informed about the world you live in.Many times education leads both to acceptance, and peace, the opposite of fighting and war. We need more of that in this world that's for sure. Other times though, education leads to activism and action, doing what we feel is right. In the end, we feel more a part of our world and community when we take part in the world around us and get educated in everything from nature and history, to current affairs in health or politics.40. Transition from TV to Internet TV.If you’re still spending your leisure time in front of a TV, consider the new web-based streaming options to traditional cable/satellite. Services that allow you to stream like: Netflix, Hulu, Crackle, Xfinity and tons of other internet entertainment channels are not only a fraction of the price, but additionally instead of mindlessly flipping through channels, and being exposed to commercials for junk you don't need,  you’ll have to think twice and actually plan before zoning out to some stupid reality show  or sit com. (Hopefully causing you to eliminate them all together, for a more beneficial program.)41. Question what you have been told to be true but have not investigated yourself.Simply stated, we are fed a lot of lies growing up that is not necessarily (or at all) true. We assume it is true because we or our parents and Grandparent have always “known” it to be true. Examples include religious and political beliefs, stereotypes and habits. One example is that marijuana is dangerous and deadly, when in fact alcohol is infinitely worse for your body and your driving ability.42. Don’t compare yourself to othersEveryone is born with different strengths and weakness. Otherwise we wouldn’t be individuals and how much fun would that be? Consequently don’t hold yourself to the standards of others; you’ll never measure up to everyone.  On the other hand, sometimes it is beneficial to compare yourself to some people you want to emulate. Competition is a strong motivator and can be used to your advantage if you don’t get too caught up in it. 43. Recognize the golden glow of retrospectWhen you look back at difficult events in your life, they usually no longer hold the same feelings for you when they're over. Even very painful events like deaths, breakups and accidents can often be looked at in a positive light looking back on them. (I know I have found this to be true for a bad car accident, a miscarriage, traumatic church events, etc.) If you can assume this perspective from the past, (of everything turning out in the future, because it did in the past) certainly you could apply that mindset while going through a hard event in the present or future.44. That goes with resisting nothing For example, you are driving on the freeway and you miss your exit. Instead of getting angry and wishing you had not missed it, accept your circumstances. Maybe you would have gotten in a horrible car crash had you gotten off in time. You will never know how lucky it was that you may have just narrowly escaped a fiery death!45. Master what you do most oftenFor some that would be typing and navigating around a computer. So download a typing tutor program. Or if you read a lot, take a speed reading course. Take the time to become the best you can be at the small things you do most often. You will save yourself loads of time, plus it’s fun to be really good at something.46. Realize that nearly everyone can teach you something, and be open to being taught.It's a frustrating fact in my life that sometimes the people I least like, have had the most to teach me. . .sometimes about myself, other times information. Often the nice ones are really not that bright, and have little to teach you besides tolerance for their naive thoughts.47. "Fast" from anything addictive, just to prove to yourself that you can.To know that your will controls your body, not the other way around, will bolster your self esteem and make you feel powerful and in control. You may even find that you don't enjoy or feel the need for that food, substance or habit once you've had a break from it.48. Learn natural remedies for you and your family's issues, and use them!I can't tell you the money and time I've saved, not to mention the misery and toxins my family have avoided by doing this one thing. It is huge!49. Learn to forage for wild herbs and foods and to grow an organic garden.With food becoming of less quality, toxic, and GMO, as well as likely more scarce with the unpredictable weather, politics and economy, it is not just a thing of saving money to know what is edible around you and to have a garden, it could very well save your health, or even your life!50. Spend more quality time with the ones you love.While lots of people live in the same house with their family, most people spend mere minutes or even seconds actually being with their family in any meaningful way. It takes thought, planning and effort to make "dates" with your loved ones, but you will both benefit by it. Sadly though, It is likely to be the most neglected one on the list. Also the most likely to be regretted for neglecting in your old age. . .

Are hot tubs or baths really bad for pregnant woman?

Recently I was kicked out of a YMCA hot tub because I could not hide the fact that I was obviously  pregnant. The sign simply said that pregnant woman should avoid exposure to extreme heat, so I figured I was not doing anything risky to be in a slightly hot tub, especially as I was only dipping my legs in! Plus, I figured that I could make that call for myself as a responsible (not drunk) adult who can follow my body's signals.

Whether it was a case of a legalistic lifeguard, or an insurance matter I don't know, but in 5 pregnancies, and lots of hot tub use over the years, I am happy to say that this was a first for me.

Anyhow, it got me thinking about the subject and as usual I will probably get myself into some hot water (no pun intended:) with doctors over my opinions on the subject, but when has that ever stopped me?

So, a little background here: hyperthermia, overheating or artificial fever therapy is an ancient technique used by the Greeks and Romans, as well as in the sweat lodges of the Indians. Hippocrates, Celus, Galen and other ancient greats of medicine praised many hot water therapies for its curative properties. From the start of human existence we have utilized this healing technique of overheating for immune defense against infection, as well as detoxing. It burns out harmful bacteria, viruses and organisms that cannot survive the heat, while keeping the healthy ones alive. It even speeds up the metabolism! In the same way that fevers work, causing an artificial fever is greatly beneficial for the health!

Fevers and all overheating therapies are indeed a great medicine, and that it can help to cure many "incurable diseases". In biological clinics in Europe, artificially induced fever, mostly in the form of overheating baths, has been used successfully to treat such conditions as rheumatic diseases, skin disorders, insomnia, arthritis - and even cancer! Dr. Josef Issels has said, "Artificially induced fever has the greatest potential in the treatment of many diseases, including cancer." This remark is made by one of the leading cancer specialists in the world! (There are many studies showing increased survival from cancer among those treated with hyperthermia.)

Such giants of medical science as Nobel Prize Winner, Dr. A. Lwoff, Dr. Werner Zabel, and Dr. Josef Issels, recommend and use fever therapies extensively. Recently, a research team under the direction of Dr. David S. Muchles, from Oxford University, reported that studies confirmed what ancient physicians and biological doctors knew all along - that fever is effective in combating many diseases.

According to a Dr. Paavo Airola, Ph.D., N.D. there is "no danger for healthy people to take sauna or other steam or hot baths. . . on a regular basis as a preventive, cleansing and health-building measure, as millions of people are doing both here and in Europe." (That said, ill patient's heart conditions, his ability to perspire and his general vitality should be checked closely.)
Source

According to the the National Institutes of Health and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists though, they discourage this wonderful therapy during pregnancy. So, why are pregnant woman banned from this health giving therapy of hot water or even steam or saunas, when it seems doubly important for them to be able to detox from the additional waste from the baby???

The reason seems obvious: The heart of the pregnant woman needs to work harder to pump blood to the skin's surface with hyperthermia, which they believe can quickly cause dehydration and dizziness or even fainting. High heat from a bath, sauna or steam room could place an extreme burden on the mother’s heart and circulation at a time when her heart is already working hard, and also consequently bring less blood to the baby they say. Some test findings do suggest an association between the use of a very hot tub or hot bath during early pregnancy and the risk of miscarriage. . .possibly because of that lacking blood.

For instance, there is some evidence that a prolonged and forced overheating (at 113 degrees Fahrenheit) of a very scared/stressed animal (rabbits) does cause the death of their 3 day embryo, those rabbits who only had 10 minutes had no ill effects even at this most susceptible stage. The study even stated that artificial fever while generally regarded as a safe form of therapy for humans even in late pregnancy, the relatively delicate and rapidly developing blastocyst at about the time of implantation seems to be most sensitive to prolonged heat.
Source

There are a number of flaws with this study though, (IMHO) for one thing, it's test subject was a very jumpy animal, who's heart would likely be racing and caused enough stress simply by being handled or immersed in any temperature water! (As opposed to it being calmed) Also, they were caged, with only their noses above water. Being left in this intensely stressful position for any length of time is cruel punishment and very stressful I'm sure!

 Also, unlike humans, rabbits pant and use their ears to cool off, (and do not sweat) so being too emerged, and maybe too stressed, they are likely going to feel even hotter then a human would in the tub. Without the choice of whether or not to get out if they start feeling too hot, or dizzy, these caged rabbits were in a much different boat then a human would ever choose to be in. (Other studies with humans though did seem to show an increase in early miscarriage (first 4 weeks or so) associated with increased hot tub use. . .Source)

Another issue with that test is that the average temperature of a hot tub is much below what was tested on the rabbits (113 degrees). The U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC) after some study on the subject recommended temperatures no higher then 104 degrees for hot tubs in the States, as a number of deaths have been caused by temperatures of over 110 degrees. Soon thereafter, Underwriters Laboratory wrote rules regarding saunas and spas. They mandated that any manufacturer of these types of devices that wished to display the Underwriters Laboratory label could not have a temperature control on their hot tub which exceeded a temperature greater than 104 degrees Fahrenheit. Therefore, in the US, unless you're using an ancient hot tub or one without a Underwriters Laboratory label, the hot tub temperature is probably safe, at least in short doses, in early pregnancy. There are still some countries, (like Japan) however, where you will find hot tubs allowing temperatures far exceeding the 104 degrees Fahrenheit limit. . .
Source

Unless you are purposefully trying to make yourself miserable though, no one in their right mind would intentionally get in a bath or hot tub much over 104. Most people are comfortable at 98-103 actually, according to the people polled in one study. And even if they did like it hotter, most people would feel free to get out if they felt at all light headed. . .which is very unlikely if they limited their time in there and didn't submerge themselves up to their noses like the rabbits.

So I have personally concluded that hot baths are safe in all stages of pregnancy. On the other hand, intentionally using very hot baths (104-110 or above) to cure sickness is probably best avoided in at least the early weeks of pregnancy. That being said though, I know a lady who had been doing serious hypertherapy at home when she found out she was expecting, and never had a miscarriage or side effect happen to the baby. (Unless you count being huge a side effect!)

Still though, as a precaution, I choose to take a common sense approach to the subject, using moderation and keeping hydrated before or after a bath. I am also careful to listen to my body's signals like: fatigue, lightheadedness, or dizziness. Thus I feel confident to ignore some more of the fear mongering that pregnancy is so entrenched in.

 And while I don't claim to be a medical authority on the subject, I do feel that woman have the right to make up their own mind on the subject, (even if it is to intentionally attempt to cause a miscarriage) and not be bullied into compliance about their bathing habits! Much less by a lifeguard in late pregnancy, where there is apparently no danger of a miscarriage from hypertherapy! So next time someone tells you to avoid or get out of a hot tub/bath, tell them if they know you are pregnant, (i.e. you are showing) then you are most likely way past the (slightly) risky time anyways, and they can just rest easy. . .(and mind their own business!)

God's will/leading completely debunked. . .

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
~Susan B Anthony




Ever noticed how many people seem to justify their own thoughts as being "God's will"? This they say is at best because they felt a strong "nudge" when reading -or after being "led to"- a passage in the Bible or a Christian (or occasionally secular) book. Or they claim to have heard a voice speaking to their heart in church. Classically that voice was telling them something they either already knew to do (and aren't doing) or something they are told they should do to please God, and had not previously thought of.


These thought are often guilt ridden and shaming, echoing the condemning of the preacher or of the peers they have. Sometimes they go even farther though! In my personal experience I have heard of those who felt guilty for taking off their headcovering in the shower or for bed, though it was neither preached about, nor did her friends do it. Another was guilty about being earthly bound to a job that would support his family and make them dependent on a worldly system of money for their life, so he quit his job and mooched off of others for the next 30 years. (So far) To say the least, personal conviction based on guilt to find "God's will can be very misleading. . .though it can also have it's place.


When looking for this illusive will of God, most often people will pray though. In the quiet of their prayer time they will get an "inspiration" from "God". What they may not realize though, is that in times of quietness, it is well known throughout the world in all religion and psychology, that the voice you hear is simply your own. Some call this "meditation", some call it "hearing yourself think", others, "finding yourself". . . .but those in all religions or beliefs hear this same inspiration with peaceful surroundings. As a Christian, my best inspirational times were all alone in the woods, just sitting there listening to "God". (Little did I realize that it was myself.)


There's another way that people claim to know God's will, and that is when they learn a life lesson from a situation, natural phenomena or someone else. It is said that God thus directs their life through circumstances, and people. While there is often no harm in such a rosy colored way of seeing things, we might ask why this seems proof for God's leading, as every person is shaped by people and their circumstances in life?


Some people choose to be better from the hard circumstances, and others get bitter. Whether or not a person will chose to "make lemonade with their lemons", or live in anger or bitterness over the bad things in life seems to be based on character and upbringing or personality, more then a belief system. Being an optimist did not stop for me when I rejected the concept of an invisible friend, and my husband's pessimism/realism as a Christian didn't change as an Atheist either. It probably depends on how skeptical and analytical you are more then anything, as to how your mind twists reality. Some use the belief of God controlling their circumstances to show his will as a coping mechanism, as they would fear the thought of thinking that things might not be dictated by someone who knows their perfect future.


So. . .if you are a Christian, and convinced God is in your life, and speaking to you in these ways, as I did in the past, then answer me these questions:

• If these thoughts were from "God" and not just our own thoughts, (specifically about doctrines or lifestyle choices) then why do they come differently to different Christians?
  
• Why do similar thoughts frequently inspire people who aren't even Christians!?
  
• Why do the thoughts just confirm what you felt guilty of or wanted to feel justified in doing in the first place?
  
• Why do the thoughts usually apply to others changing, instead of you having to? (Like commonly happens after the "inspirations" from the Sunday sermon.)
  
• Could this voice we associate with conviction from God, because it quotes previously memorized Bible verses, just be our own memory, in the same way that when a word is said, our memory comes out with a song?
  
• What about the extreme convictions that are justified in the Bible? Like to leave all and follow Christ as the Disciples did?
  
  I know one man who left his family and used numerous Bible verses to justify it. I also know others who claim after leaving their family that God has been closer then ever to them, while living in an affair!
  
  So how can a person tell if their perception is really true about God's presence leading their life?
  
  
  Some Christians say you can tell it's God's voice:
  

1. "If it lines up with the Bible". . . As you can see by that last point alone though, there are issues with that. A major one being, that you can find a verse or two in the Bible (out of context or not) to justify just about anything you want to do or think. 
2. Others yet say that "If it's a consistent thought or teaching in the Bible, it is safe to assume it's God's will." OK, polygamy and genocide is consistent, but in the Old testament. . .so we might have to be even more specific then, and try to stick with principles not debunked in the New Testament. 
3. Some would say "If Jesus did or said it, then we should do the same." So let's look at the practicality of that: His friends were the outcasts of culture, he thew people violently out of church with a whip, and he fasted for 40 days for a start. . .do you see any issues with doing any of those things? Many church members would be ostracized by keeping company with harlots and the low of society, as other verses say how you should not be "unequally yolked", or "offer your jewels to swine." You could go around to all the churches who are selling food and things in their lobbies, and violently go bazerk with a whip, but I suspect you would end up in the loony bin or jail. As for the fasting, though short fasts may be harmless for some, others have died trying to fast even for a short time for religious reasons. I saw a sad case of a woman being pressured to fast soon after having a baby, and she not only looked like death herself, she starved her newborn to death! 
4. Those in more conservative groups (most would call them cults) would put high value on the opinions of your Brothers and Sisters in Christ for revealing God's will for your life. This is actually one of the safer ways, as there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors. (The real wackos are often those who hole up with their Bible's in the woods, and feel they know God's will to bomb buildings, cleanse the churches of the world, leave their friends and families and start personal cults.) That said, often the advice is conflicting, if not being controlled by a higher power like a voting conference of pastors. 

So, from what I have seen and heard of, any measure or test of God's will is just as often wrong as right. Here's a novel thought though, as the safest method of knowing God's will seems to revolve around what some would call the inner voice or conscience of the individual or voting/counseling group, how's about putting it to the test and compare the results of this voice in the saved and unsaved. It seems we could test whether or not these "unsaved" people have the same convicting voice as the saved easily enough by their actions. . .Or if they need "God" to tell them what is wrong, or what to do in a given situation.


Granted, the unsaved aren't going to be convicted about doing those numerous "immoral" things found only wrong in some people's minds and some people's reading of the Bible. . . I say, if Christians don't want to be judged as immoral based on the rules some follow in the Koran, (say, the cleanliness ones like a spray of water being needed for the boys private parts after every use of the bathroom. . .) then maybe they should cut some slack to the Atheists or those who don't follow all the rules in the Bible like them. . .just a thought.

I think if we take a larger view of the world, we have to see that our bias is not a fair mark of morals, any more then any religion has the corner on the market of morality. So in judging whether or not this voice is outside of us/God, we need to compare an area of clear right and wrong, (say murdering, rape, stealing, etc.) that is universally agreed upon, based on the Golden rule, which is common to all cultures of the world. And here's what we find out: not only do Atheists have this inner voice, (that they call their conscience) they are more likely to follow it, then those who feel compelled to listen to "God's voice".

Maybe this blatant disregarding of God's voice (that "good Christians" are so quick to pick up on in others) is from a lifetime of being told that God's voice is the one convicting them of silly and messed up little wrongs, (music choices, clothing choices, watching movies, playing cards, cutting or weirdly styling the hair, using birth control, etc.) when it is simply a case of peer pressure, conditioning or guilt. (And no one wants to be stopped from doing something they want to do (and feel no guilt about) or even doing what they feel is right!)

Thus subconsciously, a Christian can learn to dismiss some of what they feel God is telling them (or as an Atheist would see it, their conscience is telling them) with numerous excuses. They learn to do what the Bible describes as "seering their conscience with a hot iron". Thus they can excuse away the most horrendous crimes because they were in the Bible, or if they realize their error, they claim that "the Devil made me do it". . .

Even the "best" and most consistently good Christians are in their mind absolved of all responsibilities when they do mess up, because consciously or subconsciously, those who are "born again" or "forgiven" can do no wrong, so long as they repent and/or believe in "eternal security". (The Christian's get out of jail free card.)

Furthermore, believing you are "God's chosen" automatically gives the religious a diminished respect for others who do not share their exact sect or faith. Faith thus tends to weaken rather than strengthen people’s ability to participate in society, teaching people instead to shun, despise and run from influences of "The world".  Consequently, those in religions are less likely to respect social customs and sometimes even laws, as they believe themselves to be citizens of another land. Thus religion has always brought in its wake violence, prejudice and bigotry. 



Worse, a Christian who is convinced that only the Bible offers "truth", loses their intellectual curiosity and their ability to reason, analyze and intellectualize. (They have actually done studies that show a direct correlation with analytical thinking and disbelief in religion.) When told for instance about how and when the world was actually "created", (by irrefutable, proven science) they plug their ears and say Atheists are just making it up to justify our "filthy lifestyle".




Do they have a leg to stand on in criticizing the lifestyle of Atheists though, much less dismissing their knowledge? Well, let's look at the facts: the Atheistic population is strongly correlated with a high percentage of education, and with knowledge tends to come better jobs and more wealth. Wealth and education leads to a low crime rate, so thus, consequently we will naturally have less Atheists in jail from immoral behavior. Which according to the stats, is true.


The Atheists are actually known for their moral responsibility and peaceful living worldwide according to the stats, while the most religious countries are the most violent. (Atheistic countries have the best living conditions for pretty much every area of life, consistent to their level of Atheism.) Justifying all the violence is often bigotry and the conviction of the individuals that they are following God.


If the crime rate of Christians claiming to follow God isn't bad enough though, those Christians not following God may be the worst offenders. . . Those Christians who question "God's will" or wisdom and leave religion in bitterness, while still believing in God cannot technically be called Atheist, though they are non-religious, yet stats of the non-religious vs. religious unfortunately include those who claim to be not following God, but are still Christians in their beliefs.


These non-religious people would be those who believe that God is over them with a stick waiting for them to mess up. They believe that every time they feel that uncomfortable feeling, or hear that voice inside, that it is God trying to drawing them back into religion and bondage. So in stubbornness and ignorance they run the other way; doing those very things that they know they shouldn't! Thus, for the rebellious Christian, self-described as non-religious, (being consequently categorized with the Agnostics and Atheists) immoral behavior is actually predictable, and more common, the in any true unbeliever/Atheist.


While a clear description of beliefs would surely make the stats for the Christians even worse for crime, there are some other things that make the stats look bad for the Christians in other areas of morality. . .Take the divorce rate. It is well known that the rate of divorce among religious folk is just as high as non-religious, but that overlooks all the pressure to stay together in Christiandom. When I think of the quality of the marriages in religion, the control and disrespect of woman, the beliefs that deem woman as baby making machines . . .it seems obvious to me that without religion, many of the marriages I see would dissolve. Whereas, in informal studies on social boards of thousands of Atheists, when asked to rate their satisfaction with their marriages, about 95% said they were very happy! While it is true that some of that can be accounted for with no pressure to marry young by their church, and some also not being allowed to marry, as a general rule, their marriages last because of the lack of judgment and the equality that Atheists live.

So to sum up, the voice Christians hear must be their often "seered" conscience, and according to the facts, it must be quieter/inferior to the consciences of the unsaved. Either that, or if there is in fact someone inside leading the morals of the Christians, we would have to conclude it was Satan. . . if such a character even existed. Whatever the case, I think I have shown how ridiculously bigoted and prejudiced it is for the Christian to claim moral superiority based on the belief or leading of God in their life.

So back to the often used judgment about why Atheists are presumed to believe there is no God, no Atheist I know is believing what they do (the most well supported science) as an excuse for their "filthy lifestyle" (That they usually don't have anyways). Whereas many Christians I know personally do have a filthy lifestyle and they always manage to excuse it away by their beliefs.


I think acceptance of Atheists and their beliefs can come with knowledge, (sadly, simply because of moral presumptions, they are the most distrusted and misunderstood minority in America, according to the stats). Also, according to IQ stats, (that show a strong correlation with intelligence and Atheism) and the fact that Atheists score highest on religious knowledge tests, (according to the stats) apparently the burden of getting the knowledge that will lead to acceptance rests squarely on the shoulders of the Christians or the religious in general. So I hope this article helps.

What defines a cult? Are you in one?!

When we think of a cult, most people think of the crazy and harmful ones, but the origin of the word "cult" comes from the Latin word cultus, which connotes all that is involved in worship- ritual, emotion, liturgy, and attitude. So what at their best could a cult be? A harmless group.

Groups can be sociological cults and/or theological cults; being labeled "a cult" does not necessarily mean the group is dangerous. Cult groups can have either a notably positive or negative perception. There are many, many groups that would fall under the blanket description of a cult, but pose no psychological, emotional, physical or spiritual threat to their members.

To be defined as a dangerous cult though, a group must possess a certain number of sociological or theological characteristics associated with already known dangerous cult groups. So let's take a familiarly bad cult, and analyze the elements that made it a cult, or different then "mainstream religion.".

Ever heard of Jim Jones?

He was a man of charisma and a speaker that was able to stir emotion in people. His beliefs were predominantly Methodist, but he was greatly influenced by a Baptist Revival he attended, noting that religious revivals were the means toward social change.

He stood at the pulpit and preached the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He used Christian terminology so that his messages felt familiar and comfortable. In the 1960’s though Jones started making his elitism known, stating that anyone who was not a member of his group "the People’s Temple" were “drugged with the opiate of religion and had to be brought to enlightenment.”

Jones was able to gain public support and contact with prominent local and national United States politicians; and he also forged media alliances with key columnists and others at the San Francisco Chronicle and other media outlets.

With publicity also comes media scrutiny and it was a 1977 article in New West Magazine in which previous People’s Temple members were interviewed and claimed to have been physically, sexually and emotionally abused by Jones, that made him immediately move his group to Guyana, wherein he officially named the place, “Jonestown.” Jones denied the allegations and then ran and hid.

 By moving his group to Guyana, to establish what became known as Jonestown, he took drastic measures to separate his members from outsiders, whom he felt would distract and lead astray his members. Jones created an “us” versus “them” complex against those not belonging in the group and viewed outsiders as spiritually inferior or to have fallen under the deception of the enemy.

Jones used the influence of hypnotic states, purposefully inducing a state of manipulative mind control through repetitive chanting, continuous singing, and meditation.

Jones encouraged a lack of prolonged privacy. If a member tried to seek out too much alone time, or vacations from church, they were reminded of this verse, Hebrews 10:25 …”not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” and via peer pressure, and guilt were pulled back into regular church activity:

Speaking of peer pressure, members of Jonestown were encouraged to share personal secrets/sins in front of other group members and in written journals that were used as a source of intimidation. He promoted accountability among friends, which, in essence encourages peer pressure to go with the flow and not question. He knew that pushing peers to hold one another accountable, it promoted peer pressure and a fear of being judged and ridiculed. Fear, ironically, builds deeper unity in a group.

Jones would give long lectures and schedule long prayer and worship sessions in order to tire and confuse minds. Food deprivation/fasting, coupled with sleep deprivation from long hours in the prayer room and studying as well as sermons in church, leave the mind wide open for manipulation. When a person is greatly fatigued and hungry, it can make them vulnerable to normally offensive beliefs and suggestions.

Jones placed rules on social relationships, allowing members to marry only other members and deny all other familial relationships. . .using verses about being "unequally yolked together with unbelievers", and needing to be willing to "hate your mother and father" in order to enter into the kingdom. (He also encouraged sexual relations between the members to enhance their fellowship.)

Jones went after the youth, the naïve. He wanted the outcast, the introverted, the lonely and the misunderstood because he offered them something no one else can: belonging, purpose, and community.

Jones enforced financial dependency, ensuring member’s personal assets were donated to his group, and making them less likely to be able to leave.

Questioning the authority of Jim Jones resulted in punishment, both psychological and physical. They were ignored by peers, ostracized, threatened, and sometimes hurt punished physically as well.

Source

So a quick rehash of those traits show cults having their origins with:

• A charisma speaker that was able to stir emotion in people toward social change.
• Used familiar terminology and was based on Christian/popular thoughts.
• Was elitist, believing the other religions of the time needed enlightenment.
• Sought publicity to get social change.
• Leader sought to segregate his group from "The world", fearing the bad influence or exposure.
• Had a shared purse, encouraged tithing to the church. Sometimes cults also encourage dependency and accountability with communal work, or "brothers of the church" working only with other brothers to not be "unequally yolked" in business relationships. 
• The use of hypnotic and suggestive chanting, singing and meditation/prayer.
• Pressure to be in the church whenever it's doors were open. 
• Pressure to open up your private life via prayer meetings, prayer journals and accountability partners.
• Long sermons
• Fasting encouraged or mandated for spirituality.
• Strict rules about dating being only with likeminded people of the cult.
• Strict social rules of conduct, often involving what the members can eat or drink even, as well as how they should dress.
• Caters to the poor, needy, young, vulnerable, naive, outcasts, etc.
• Didn't allow questioning of the leader, as he was said to be sent from God to the masses. . .although sometimes his own family disagreed.

These characteristics were shared by all the classic cults it seems; Charles Manson, David Koresh, the group at Waco, Tx. . . .It seems one leader stands out to me though. He undoubtedly preached all those things, and did all those things, as do his followers still today. Can you guess his name? Surprise, it's Jesus! 

So, if cults are bad because of those things, and Jesus fits the bill for the worst of the cult leaders of all time, then either all that still follow his teachings are in a cult, or a Christian will need to redefine a cult as not a bad thing. Personally, I fall somewhere in the middle.

So, looking deeper in an unbiased way at cults, we see that according to Rationalwiki,  "Cult" can be a Snarl Word applied to unpopular religions, and was used up until the middle of the 20th century to describe any sort of movement, religious or otherwise, that had an element of in-group/out-group to it.  In pop culture, cults are scary places where lost children go to be raped and murdered, where the recruits wander through airports chanting various 'ohms', and of course where people are brainwashed.

A bit more formally, the term is usually used to refer to religions (or other movements) whose beliefs or practices are not just "not what we do", but are seen by the culture at large, as truly bizarre. . .does that mean that culture is always right though? I'd say a resounding NO!  I see all cult leaders to have seen a need for social change, and gone about to do it in ways that seemed best to them. . .

 "A cult is any religious group too small to field its own army or without political power." This was the case with every new movement, including the one Jesus originally led. It seems obvious to me that the members of the sect called Christians were seen as a cult by their culture for a long time, and consequently mocked for it. So simply because it has been around long enough to be seen as normal to society, does not make it any less of a cult then the rest, nor should a Christian get uppity about how much more sense their cult makes, then say, one based off of a newer leaders' agenda for social change. All religion was a cult at one time, and if you are going to accept and join one, you had better be accepting of the rest, and allow others the same choice with no judgment! Better yet though would be to ditch all the outdated ones like me, and/or start a new "cult" for social change! Hmm, I'll have to think up a good name for mine. . .;)

Source

If God is real and so powerful, why does he allow/cause bad things to happen?

 Showing me a recent newspaper clipping of a father and son (both said to be upstanding citizens in the community) who were brutally killed in a natural disaster, some cult members at my door asked me (one day in my distant past), " If God is an all powerful, and a loving God, who controls nature, and is involved in our lives, why does he allow/cause such bad things like this to happen to innocent people?"

 As a conservative Christian, my worldview said that I as a child of God, was the "apple of God's eye", and my every move was predestined by God, before I was ever born. God knew everything, and was everywhere, "beholding the evil and the good". And though it grieved him greatly at times to do it, he had to simply watch the evil, and do nothing, as he had promised not to destroy the earth with a flood again, and most Christian's I knew believed that we lived in a "day of grace" because of Jesus'e sacrifice. Furthermore I justified, "it wasn't God's plan for there to be evil, it was the original curse or my or others choices that caused it". I was always told that God never caused "evil", just allowed Satan to do it, to bring himself glory and people to repentance.

 I never really thought too deeply about all the ramifications of those reasoning's, like most don't until bad things happen to them and it shakes their faith. I just trusted that God was aware of everything, and if I followed him, everything would work out well for me, even if it hadn't for others who maybe weren't Christians, or walking with God as close as I was. So if I always chose to act according to God's will, I would be bound to have everything go well. .  .after all, the Bible tells me that "All things work together for good to those who love God. . ." If I got deceived or confused and swayed from the path momentarily, I could just repent, and get back to God's perfect will I figured.

 Unfortunately, Scientists are suspecting that we could live in a reality made by every choice we make. For every other choice then, there is another reality. Kind of like that movie "Source code". So, if you had ever made a decision that wasn't "God's perfect plan for your life", it could derail the whole thing, and send you off in a wild unpredictable path, that God had no control over, or knowledge of, with no way of returning to the other perfect plan, ever. . . theoretically. I suppose no one wants to think that far down the free will path though.

So, back to that conversation with the cult members; It was the first time I actually wondered if I was sure that God was involved in my life, and protecting me any better then those people, or so many other Christians I knew who had had bad things happen to them? Or was it simply my optimistic mindset that made me see through rose colored glasses every time something bad happened?

 For the first time in my life I faced my deep questions like, "was it just my own, or my hubby's wise choices, good work ethic, a good family and plain old luck that had kept us out of the poor house, or was it truly because the Bible promised that "his seed would never have to beg bread"? I suddenly wondered if my (mostly) good health had more to do with upbringing, intelligence, habits, and how I chose to spend my money, instead of how God was blessing me and my family with good health?

 So, I guess I started noticing, and thinking critically (not magically). Consequently I stopped giving all the glory to God about my "blessings", and noticed it was just me, circumstances or other people that controlled my destiny. At about that time my husband started to go away from all religious beliefs, and in the process analyzed everything in the light of reality, science and reason, instead of upbringing, and superstition. I thought he was over reacting to a few lies he had been told in religion, or was being too pessimistic, but nonetheless I respected his intelligence and listened to his reasoning. . . so I could debunk it mostly. Not realizing that as he was throwing out God, I was throwing out the need and justification for him myself!

On the surface, I still did what every good Christian did though. When something bad did happened to me, I trusted in God, and would see the positive side of it, thinking that I might have been given this trial as a way to empathize with others. I saw the support of others in this trying time as a blessing from God, and tried to major on that. . .even repeating to myself that "Those whom God loveth he chasteneth." At the same time, deep down I also asked the really hard questions, like respectfully, "why God?" Was this a lesson to teach me something, or was it to judge me? Was it just to "give glory to God" through my good attitude in it all?

 Inevitably it did give God glory in a small way, but what it really did was give glory to me and my religion. . .and that felt good. I was suffering through with a positive attitude in a sense because I wanted to prove my religion works for the sake of the unbelievers like my husband. . .and even to myself! I couldn't admit to this of course though. (Anymore then the future cults I got involved with wanted to admit that the reason they acted the pious way they did in public and even private, was because they needed to prove they were a part of "the one true church". Which is why they had to have a good testimony at all times. . .the same thing taught to me as a kid in even mainstream Christianity.)

So eventually, to give a fair scientific test for the involvement of a God in my life, or not, I started comparing myself and my situation to those who had made the same wise choices in life, about finances, or health for instance, and I took note if it mattered if they claimed religion, or denied it. I started by observing my hubby. . .then went on to other religions or Atheists.

 I then compared myself with those who made other, IMO less then wise choices, and claimed they were led of God to do them. Not surprisingly, they claimed to have horrible "luck" or be tested by God, or "buffeted by Satan" a lot. These people claimed the verse "all those who live godly in Christ Jesus, shall suffer persecution." They would remind themselves frequently that "this world is not my home, I'm just a passin' through. . ."

When something went wrong because of that choice, or lifestyle, never did they question or admit to that choice being not God's will though. Rarely would one admit even that the choice they were "led" to make was only meant to be for a moment even. Generally, the cause of most problems I saw in the Christians life, was because of the belief that God was leading them, his way was best, and his way would never change. Whereas, those without that belief seemed to take responsibility for the directions they went in life, and were willing to change when they could see that it was a poor one.

To this day, it's amazing to me how people can be so blissfully happy about horrible things happening, as long as they have a trust that "all things work together for good, to those who love God. . ." That's great and all, while I love the power of positive thinking too, I wonder what kind of stupidity, or lack of empathy for others says "praise the lord" in some situations. Like when your young child is diagnosed with cancer, and after praying for a miracle that doesn't seem to come, you take him to the hospital for an emergency surgery. After just about everything goes wrong, and all the drugs and pain of major surgery, (not to mention the bills) many hours later your child comes out and they tell you, it was a false alarm, and there was no emergency after all.

So, God knew and allowed all that? The fuss, expense, worry, pain, and was that because you or your husband needed a lesson, or you just really needed the support of people right then? (I'm sure it did feel good.) Or was it another case like Job's in the Bible?

 I've always wondered how in the world that situation can be justified in the mind of an empathetic, logical person? I always had issues with that. Think about it, God was said to have had basically a bet, at the expense of his most loyal servant/creation. He held him in the highest esteem of all those on earth, yet didn't hesitate to put him through all manner of torture just to prove his absolute loyalty. Did it even give glory to God on earth? No! The whole point was to show off Job's loyalty to this council of "Angels". Which as I have explained before in the original language meant nothing more then "gods."

Do we hear of a public apology from God to Job though, to reinstate his pride? Or do we just see "God" telling off Job's friends, and bragging about how much more knowledgeable he has about nature, and how he is able to fish for the big sea creatures in the ocean? Is there a magical return of his stuff, and his children revived, or do we simply see a natural building up of Job's wealth (from his wise choices) and family again (again from his choices) after he gets over his course of boils, which BTW, are often caused by stress. . .

While do doubt the "fire from heaven" that destroyed his 7,000 sheep was because of a direct assault from the "sons of God" (whom I clarified in an earlier post were actually Angels/gods/aliens) the rest of the attacks could have just been bad luck because of jealous neighboring groups. After enough of this bad luck though, a superstitious mind would have to guess that God is judging him. So I suspect the reaction of Job's friends was the best reaction you could expect from religious friends. It gets me why instead of an apology, or a reinstating of his stuff by God, he criticizes Job's his friends for their inevitable presumption of God judging of Job.

The real kicker is that the well meaning friends are the bad guys in the story, not Satan, who was actually sent and blessed by God! Hmm, maybe because he wasn't meant to be a bad guy at that time, as Satan hadn't yet been invented? He was simply sent by the council of the god's to act as an adversary/satan to test their creation's loyalty. A diffidence I explain in my post: Are God and Satan really one and the same as some say. . .? Part 11

Of course, if you can handle swallowing the story of Job, and believe that is fair treatment from an all loving, all powerful God, well, then no amount of innocent, good people, (even those who have never heard about Jesus) being tortured on earth and later sent to Hell, should be a problem to you. Those who get raped, tortured, maimed or killed for standing for right, or just being born in the wrong time, the wrong place or to the wrong people should also not be an issue to you. . .as it's obviously for their good and "God's glory". With this reasoning the inquisition, crusades, and witch hunts were carried out.

 All I can say is, many good people started/start questioning God and religion not out of bitterness for their own bad luck, (which I have not really had much of) but out of an empathy for others and a higher moral standard then seems to be shown in the Bible. . .